Now, to get this non-serious blog back on track, i present to you two short excerpts from Maddox's 'The Alphabet of Manliness'.
Read it. And refrain from orgasming from attaining such great manly wisdom.
[For those lazy to scroll all the way down to read about the chalet, its on the 20th Feb, 2 days 1 night, bbq will start around 7-8pm, bring along 40 bucks, if inviting any non-C152 people tell gongz by 16th feb, if want to invite any other lecturers other than boss and chong ming comment down there, bring any entertainment systems you are able to.]
"Odin - The Patron Saint of Rearranging Your Face
Odin is the manliest of all mythological gods. Nobody even comes close to Odin. Thor? Please. Zeus? Get the fuck out of my office. Zeus was probably the biggest pussy in all of mythology. His speciality was to roll over and take it in the corn hole. Lesser gods such as Ares, Poseidon, and his bitch wife, Hera, were always pushing Zeus around and walking all over him. The only thing Zeus ever did was turn people into rocks or mountains, and he could hurl an occasional lightning bolt. Ooo, a lightning bolt! Oh no, not that, anything but a lightning bolt! Look out, Zeus the all powerful will smite you just as long as you arent standing next to a long pole.
Unlike Zeus, Odin was a god who could get things done. Odin didn't fuck around with lightning bolts, Odin was the Norse god of war, wisdom, magic, victory, hunting, and poetry. yes, peotry. Although poetry is pretty much the unmanliest form of writing, Odin was man enough to make even this most effiminate of written forms rock tits. Here's a haiku written by Odin:
I murdered a man.
he had a wife and two kids.
I slept peacefully.here's a poem Odin wrote one day when he ordered a sandwich, and they were out of wheat (Odin eats a diet high in fiber because cholesterol kills):
Bitch, say what?That's all he wrote before he stomped his foot up her ass and wore her colon around his ankle.
If there was one word to describe Odin, it would be cocksure. Odin had no character flaws, unless you consider an excessively violent response to minor annoyances a character flaw, and i don't. Case in point: One time some guy went to one of Odin's temples to sacrifice in an effort to spare his village from the famine that was scientifically proven to be caused by Odin.
The guy tried to impale himself on a large stake, but he lost his balance and fell awkwardly on the pole, causing him to bleed all over the place. When Odin came down to collect the man's soul, he saw the mess and became furious because Odin hates a sloppy sacrifice. Odin was so pissed that he resurrected the man, ate him, and then poked his own eye out and ate it so he could watch the body as he digested it and shit it out."
"If someone invented a way to package sex and put it straight into your mouth, it would taste like beef jerky."
"Only the highest-quality ingredients go into making beef jerky, but one can't help but wonder: What's the secret ingredient that gives beef jerky its awesome flavor? It's so obvious that it's almost not worth mentioning, but for the benefit of the uninformed: Little girls.
Proof: there's an old nursery rhyme that states, "Little girls are made out of sugar and spice and everything nice." Since only the highest quality ingredients go into making beef jerky, and all things that are of the highest-quality are necessarily a subset of "all things nice," it can then be said that beef jerky is made out of little girls."
Totally.
Firo, Out.
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